Thursday, May 10, 2012

How the Devils are preparing for the Eastern Conference Finals

Despite beating the Flyers in 5, Pete DeBoer knows he failed as a coach by letting Zac Rinaldo escape the series uninjured.

The annoying part about winning a short series is waiting to find out who your next opponent will be.  The Kings, Coyotes and Devils have advanced to the Conference Finals, but the Rangers and Capitals are still battling out their series, as Game 7 will be Saturday night.  The Devils have already begun preparing for the Eastern Conference Finals, despite not knowing who they'll be playing.  So what exactly are they doing?

David Clarkson - He's decided that if scoring goals while skating right in front of the goaltender when he is trying to clear puck doesn't work, he'll screen the goaltender and wave his stick in the air like an idiot.  Or did the league outlaw that?

Ilya Kovalchuk - After all the times he helped the red light go on behind Ilya Bryzgalov, he's forced Bryzgalov into a habit of flopping and throwing his hands up every time he drives up to a red traffic light.

Anton Volchenkov - Since he can't practice due to injury, he sends Brayden Schenn a get well soon postcard.  Every day.

Ryan Carter - Purchased a New York Rangers inflatable punching bag and drew a #41 "Bickel" on the back.

Zach Parise - Has been looking at real estate in northern New Jersey, because apparently the Devils winning probably bodes decently as far as Parise's future in New Jersey.

Lou Lamoriello - He's working very hard to inform the media of various Devils injuries.  Marek Zidlicky is "day-to-day with an undisclosed injury."

Adam Henrique - Fired his agent for guaranteeing him a vacation from May to September by playing for the Devils.

Stephen Gionta - Screams "I'M NOT BRIAN" to everyone who says hello to him, by force of habit.

Peter DeBoer - He's hoping to draw the Rangers in the Conference Finals, because he needs a reason to play Cam Janssen and Eric Boulton again.

Steve Bernier - Following stints in San Jose, Vancouver, Buffalo and Florida, he's become perplexed as to why he's still playing hockey in mid-May.

Bryce Salvador - Keeps calling the guy he was traded from St. Louis to New Jersey for to brag that his team is still alive.  Then Cam Janssen replies, "dude, I'm right here."

Marek Zidlicky - To make himself feel better, he plays as himself on NHL 12 and tries to hit Zac Rinaldo hard, but is frustrated when nothing happens.

Cam Janssen - Knowing that he won't play in the Conference Finals until after the inevitable bench clearing brawl with the Rangers in Game 1, he's returned to Twitter under his secret name, @DownGoesAvery.

Prudential Center - They're making sure the glass supports provide some home ice advantage.

Jacob Josefson - As he tries to return from injury, he's asked Patrik Elias for some advice to taking faceoffs as part of his "what not to do" routine.

Travis Zajac - Teaches Jacob Josefson how to take faceoffs.

Johan Hedberg - He's been a bit bored lately, so Pete DeBoer has given him an important job: bringing the team lunch every day.

Adam Larsson - He's informed Team Sweden that he won't be playing in the World Championships since his team is in the playoffs and he's, y'know, playing...

Petr Sykora - Spent his down time researching as to where Derian Hatcher is right now and making sure he won't attend the Stanley Cup Finals, should the Devils advance.

Alexei Ponikarovsky - Let's just say he's been sending this video to a lot of people.